After I marathoned the entire series of The West Wing and two seasons of NCIS, I decided to binge-watch some Sex and the City. Don't ask, I have no idea why. (Maybe nostalgia?) While I always thought of it as an okay show, this time I find myself mentally rolling my eyes a lot more.
The first episode of the show is about women who "fuck like men", which in this case means women who have sex without getting feelings involved. (Oh yes, that trope) That really set the tone for me for this re-watching experience. As I went on from episode to episode I quickly came to the conclusion that I would not make a good audience for the column articles Carrie Bradshaw wrote - I refer to the rolling my eyes comment above.
In season 3, episode 4 ("Boy, Girl, Boy, Girl...") is centered around Carrie's thoughts over her new boyfriend, who reveals he is bisexual. What she ends up wondering, however, is whether gender is a dying concept. This was more due to her bisexual boyfriend, than due to her friend Charlotte's subplot, which is far more relevant to gender identity: the episode opens with an art show which features photos of women made to look like men and Charlotte ends up modeling for (and sleeping with) the artist, dressed up as a man. This is what makes it seem like Carrie doesn't know the difference between gender and sexuality.
At one point in the episode, Carrie monologues: "That night I couldn't get Samantha's words out of my head. Was Sean's generation onto something? Was sexual flipping the wave of the future? And if it was, could I play that game or was I over the hill? If women can transform into men and men can become women and we can choose to sleep with everyone then maybe gender doesn't even exist anymore? If we can take the best of the other sex and make it our own, has the opposite sex become obsolete?" Again, this monologue was more due to her discovering she was bothered by her younger boyfriend's bisexuality than Charlotte's story and it connects sexuality with gender identity (which are presented as binary).
It doesn't help that the entire episode features the leading ladies expressing thoughts about bisexuality that reflect stereotypes and misconceptions about bisexuality that bisexuals today would likely deem offensive. Miranda declares that bisexuals are being greedy, Charlotte announces her love of labels and how she thinks bisexuals should pick straight or gay, Samantha is of the opinion that bisexual people are particularly free in their expression of sexuality, and they all reminisce how in college, all of the bisexual people they knew ended up gay anyway. (Therefore shrugging bisexuality off as something less valid than hetero or homosexuality) They color bisexuality as something for the younger people. And the episode does nothing to present a different view. (Then there's season 4 and how the ladies handle Samantha getting into a relationship with a woman.)
Oh yes, this gets pretty frustrating to follow, especially if you yourself are bisexual or a member of a sexual minority. But if there's anything I remember from anthropology of sexuality, it's how surprisingly recent many attitude and policy shifts in the area of gender and sexuality actually are (though don't ask me about specific decades, I've blissfully forgotten most of the numbers by now). So I reminded myself of this and kept my snark at bay and instead felt compelled to check when season three aired. It aired in the year 2000, while the pilot aired in 1998.
While bisexuality was hardly new and shiny at the time, it still wasn't necessarily as commonly understood (nor is it today, to be honest). Though 2000 feels like yesterday to me, it was still over a decade ago. And things have naturally changed since then. Only in the recent years has information about sexualities other than gay and lesbian become more readily available - mostly thanks to the magical world of the internet. In fact, I feel like Tumblr discourse actually has a rather significant hand in this during the past few years, but it might just be my personal observational bias talking here. In any case, considering how recent the growing amount of available information on gender and sexual minorities is makes me more forgiving about the writing on Sex and the City. However, it also makes me wonder what the dialogue between Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha would be like, if the show was to be remade today, with competent, knowledgeable writers. (And I'm just going to ignore the movies here...) Imagine the potential there.
(P.S.: Shows like Sex and the City also make dating and relationships look like an incredible, exhausting hassle where every little thing, like leaving a small item at the sexual partner's place, becomes a huge act of relationship politics. It makes me actually glad I don't date, though I know the show doesn't exactly represent reality 1:1. Still, hoooboy...)
The first episode of the show is about women who "fuck like men", which in this case means women who have sex without getting feelings involved. (Oh yes, that trope) That really set the tone for me for this re-watching experience. As I went on from episode to episode I quickly came to the conclusion that I would not make a good audience for the column articles Carrie Bradshaw wrote - I refer to the rolling my eyes comment above.
In season 3, episode 4 ("Boy, Girl, Boy, Girl...") is centered around Carrie's thoughts over her new boyfriend, who reveals he is bisexual. What she ends up wondering, however, is whether gender is a dying concept. This was more due to her bisexual boyfriend, than due to her friend Charlotte's subplot, which is far more relevant to gender identity: the episode opens with an art show which features photos of women made to look like men and Charlotte ends up modeling for (and sleeping with) the artist, dressed up as a man. This is what makes it seem like Carrie doesn't know the difference between gender and sexuality.
At one point in the episode, Carrie monologues: "That night I couldn't get Samantha's words out of my head. Was Sean's generation onto something? Was sexual flipping the wave of the future? And if it was, could I play that game or was I over the hill? If women can transform into men and men can become women and we can choose to sleep with everyone then maybe gender doesn't even exist anymore? If we can take the best of the other sex and make it our own, has the opposite sex become obsolete?" Again, this monologue was more due to her discovering she was bothered by her younger boyfriend's bisexuality than Charlotte's story and it connects sexuality with gender identity (which are presented as binary).
It doesn't help that the entire episode features the leading ladies expressing thoughts about bisexuality that reflect stereotypes and misconceptions about bisexuality that bisexuals today would likely deem offensive. Miranda declares that bisexuals are being greedy, Charlotte announces her love of labels and how she thinks bisexuals should pick straight or gay, Samantha is of the opinion that bisexual people are particularly free in their expression of sexuality, and they all reminisce how in college, all of the bisexual people they knew ended up gay anyway. (Therefore shrugging bisexuality off as something less valid than hetero or homosexuality) They color bisexuality as something for the younger people. And the episode does nothing to present a different view. (Then there's season 4 and how the ladies handle Samantha getting into a relationship with a woman.)
Oh yes, this gets pretty frustrating to follow, especially if you yourself are bisexual or a member of a sexual minority. But if there's anything I remember from anthropology of sexuality, it's how surprisingly recent many attitude and policy shifts in the area of gender and sexuality actually are (though don't ask me about specific decades, I've blissfully forgotten most of the numbers by now). So I reminded myself of this and kept my snark at bay and instead felt compelled to check when season three aired. It aired in the year 2000, while the pilot aired in 1998.
While bisexuality was hardly new and shiny at the time, it still wasn't necessarily as commonly understood (nor is it today, to be honest). Though 2000 feels like yesterday to me, it was still over a decade ago. And things have naturally changed since then. Only in the recent years has information about sexualities other than gay and lesbian become more readily available - mostly thanks to the magical world of the internet. In fact, I feel like Tumblr discourse actually has a rather significant hand in this during the past few years, but it might just be my personal observational bias talking here. In any case, considering how recent the growing amount of available information on gender and sexual minorities is makes me more forgiving about the writing on Sex and the City. However, it also makes me wonder what the dialogue between Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha would be like, if the show was to be remade today, with competent, knowledgeable writers. (And I'm just going to ignore the movies here...) Imagine the potential there.
(P.S.: Shows like Sex and the City also make dating and relationships look like an incredible, exhausting hassle where every little thing, like leaving a small item at the sexual partner's place, becomes a huge act of relationship politics. It makes me actually glad I don't date, though I know the show doesn't exactly represent reality 1:1. Still, hoooboy...)
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